During the home game last Friday, all was normal, by high school football standards. The band was playing as loud as humanly possible, the food was dirt cheap, and the student section was going crazy as their name implies.
The Tennessee High Student Section stormed the field shortly after their victory against Westridge in a friendly match. Mimicking University of Tennessee Volunteer’s victory against Alabama Crimson Tide, the crowd ran toward the goalpost to carry it towards Holston Lake, which only caused chaos.
The real question was how to do it. The average goal post is 20 feet tall and 500 pounds and everyone was hyped on sugar and junk food.
Even with all odds against them, they still attempted to lift the goalposts.
Unfortunately, many gave up shortly after the first pull and left behind the freshman and supporting but fragile grandparents.
After 5 hours of unsupervised labor, they were able to lift the goalpost at 2:34AM, only to drop it on the newly-renovated visitor side, destroying 3.6 million dollars worth of property.
“I can’t believe they forgot to drill up the post before picking it up,” said Al Moste-Flat End, an innocent bystander who was five centimeters away from getting squashed.”I would’ve told them but I just wanted to see what they would do instead.”
What was once supposed to be a symbol of Viking triumph was instead replaced with continued agony, as Principal Kirk announced yet another Graduation ceremony in Viking Hall.
